i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
