I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
