She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
