with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
