SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
