I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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