I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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