For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
