i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
