I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
