Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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