So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
is it fun? or sober?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
