Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
