i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
