Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
