i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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