so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
