Hey man sorry I got all grabby
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
