i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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