I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
