She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
