didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Four minutes until I can fart!
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
