Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
