Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
