i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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