Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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