I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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