we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
