Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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