I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
