I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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