You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize