honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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