hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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