Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i just had sex bonerless
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
