he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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