Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
