I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
