lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
