id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize