wat bout pragnant strippers??
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
