just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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