I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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