Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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