which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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