Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
COCAINE IS GR8
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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