Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize