They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
it's like iHOP with fire
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I think my moral compass just broke
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
