My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
