it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
