Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
