I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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