is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
