He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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