god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
