that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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