whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
