I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
