You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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