please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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