you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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