About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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